


Speak Now

by gothpandaotaku



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, One Shot, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:06:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22855948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gothpandaotaku/pseuds/gothpandaotaku
Summary: Jensen's best friend is getting married to the wrong girl... Jensen's been silent all his life, but will he speak up when it really matters?
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki, Past Jared Padalecki/Genevieve Cortese
Comments: 7
Kudos: 185





	Speak Now

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thorkiship18](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thorkiship18/gifts).



> First fic I've published in a long time, AAAAAHHHH! And this is all Izzy's fault, blame him XD

He looked fucking beautiful. Beams of sunlight streamed through the window, framing his face into an angelic halo. But Jensen already knew Jared was heaven sent. Just not sent for him.

“How do I look?” Jared said, his cheeks flushed, a slightly crooked smile on his face. He was nervous, Jensen could tell. 

“You look great, man. Genevieve is gonna flip when she sees you.”

“Are you sure it looks okay? It doesn’t look weird or, or something?” Jared fiddled with the cuffs of his suit.

“Relax, you look fine. You’re not the one walking down the aisle in a big poofy dress in heels. Your bowtie is a little crooked though.” Before he could help himself, Jensen reached out. 

He fumbled only slightly, and thankfully the swarm of butterflies in his stomach didn’t translate to his hands shaking. 

“Thanks,” Jared shot him a thankful grin. Jensen swallowed hard. 

All that was really left for them to do was wait. The hotel staff was getting everything set up, the bride was getting buttoned into her gorgeous gown, everything was falling into place. Perfect. Everything was just perfect.

And Jensen felt like he was going to throw up. 

As time went on, Jared seemed to get more and more nervous. Jensen had to stop him from biting his nails three times, and when he wasn’t sitting on the couch fidgeting, he was pacing around the hotel room.

Which absolutely did  _ not  _ help Jensen’s own growing anxiety. In about two hours he was supposed to smile and laugh and give a stupid little speech how Jared and Genevieve were absolutely  _ meant to be  _ and he didn’t think he could pull it off. They had only been dating a year, and he’d honestly been shocked when Jared told him he planned on proposing to her. But of course he played the role of the supportive childhood best friend and said how happy he was for him.

He’d of course met Genevieve a bunch of times now, though their conversations had always been limited to “Yeah, I love Fall Out Boy too” “Wow, that was some crazy storm huh?” and every fiber of Jensen’s being screamed that she was all wrong for Jared. She thought Jared’s love of Star Wars was dumb and nerdy, she only ate tasteless organic crap and didn’t let Jared pick out any of their food, and she laughed at Jared when he said he wanted to learn to play the guitar. 

But Jensen didn’t have any say because Jensen was a total fucking idiot who, in the fifteen years he’d been best friends with Jared, had never told him how he felt out of pure cowardice. He’d rather cut his own arm off than lose Jared in any way he could have him. As long as Jared was happy, it didn’t matter that Jensen’s heart was cracking, destined to be shattered into millions of tiny pieces when Jared said the words “I do.”

He’d let himself get totally shit-faced, blackout drunk tonight and maybe tomorrow night too for good measure, drown in his sorrows just a little bit, and then everything would be fine. 

“Hey Jensen… this might be a weird question but, do you have any regrets?” Jared said from the couch, his leg bouncing up and down and seconds away from biting off a nail. In all the years Jensen had known him, he couldn’t ever remember seeing Jared this nervous, and it pulled him right out of his own thoughts. 

“Regrets? Ummm…” Only that he probably fucked up his entire life by never telling his best friend that he was completely, totally, head over heels, irrevocably in love with him, always had been and always would be, but was too much of a fucking coward to ever say anything. “I guess not more than the average person really, nothing significant, nah.” Jensen paused. “Why, do you?” He would honestly be surprised if Jared did have regrets; he’d always lived his life charging straight ahead, he never stopped moving and had even accomplished his dream of becoming a screenwriter. It was a huge part of what Jensen loved about him.

“I mean… maybe? It’s just…” He got up and started pacing again. “It’s just, everything feels like it’s moving so fast, so fucking fast that I can’t breathe, and what the fuck am I doing-”

“Whoa, Jay, calm down!” Jensen moved from his spot at the kitchen island to put a grounding hand on Jared’s shoulder. “What’s going on? Are you nervous about the wedding?”

Jared leaned into his touch and Jensen melted a little. “I don’t know, it just feels all of a sudden like everything in my life is moving so fast and I don’t have control over anything-”

“Stop freaking out, it’s making me freak out!”

“I can’t help it! Why don’t you stop freaking out?!”

“I will if you will!”

“Just calm down!”

“Don’t tell me to calm down-”

“I think you need a distraction.”

“Then distract me!”

“Uh, um, okay, wanna hear something totally stupid??”

Jared nodded his head, and Jensen could clearly see from Jared’s shaking hands and shakey breathing he was on the verge of a panic attack and needed to be calmed down fast. So he said the first thing that popped into his head when he gazed into anxious hazel eyes.

“I’ve been in love with you since I was twelve years old. But I never said anything because I was absolutely terrified of ruining our friendship. Haha. Oh, but don’t worry because I am definitely not in love with you anymore. It’s all in the past! See I told you, so stupid it’s funny right? We can have a good laugh about it!”

Jared grew perfectly still. Jensen didn’t even think he was breathing. Jensen was pretty sure he was having a heart attack himself, so he couldn’t judge. 

After several long, excruciating moments Jared finally whispered, “You were in love with me? And you’re telling me this hours before I get married?”

Oh god. Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god Jensen was so  _ fucked _ . “I’m-I’m so sorry, Jay. I didn’t want to upset you. But for what it’s worth, I am over you. Can we just… pretend this never happened?”

Jared ran shaking hands through his hair, displacing the artfully placed gel in it. “You don’t understand Jensen, this changes  _ everything.” _

Jensen reeled like he’d been slapped. It would have hurt less if he had. “But why? Please don’t-”

“Because I was in love with you too!” Jared shouted.

Jensen was pretty sure his jaw dropped to the floor at that, but before he could say anything there was a knock at the door, nearly making him jump out of his skin. 

Jared answered the door. It was the hotel manager. “Sirs, I am so sorry, but it seems there are some… electrical issues due to the oncoming storm. Nearly the entire area, including most parts of the hotel are without-”

Suddenly the room was plunged into darkness.

“-power. Oh dear. We are working on getting the power back on as soon as possible, but please understand until we do, there will be a delay in the wedding festivities.”

“We understand, thank you. Please keep us updated.” Jared shut the door. 

Needing to break the silence, Jensen said in a small voice “So… what do we do now?”

“Now, I get a drink,” Jared muttered and headed for the bar.

Thankfully, it was only four in the afternoon and some light was still streaming through the windows, but it wouldn’t last much longer. It usually got dark around five thirty, and the wedding was scheduled for five. It was Genevieve’s idea to have a late wedding.

Jared grabbed a glass and a bottle of scotch, downing it in one swallow before pouring himself another. He then grabbed and filled a second glass before passing it to Jensen. Like Jared, he downed it in one go and poured more. 

“Do you remember the day we met? How you sat at the desk next to me in English class and I let you borrow my special Bobba Fett notebook because you were the new kid and I wanted to be friends with you?”

Jensen smiled. He could still picture Jared’s floppy hair. “Of course. You were the only kid in class to talk to me at first. You even made me list my favorite Star Wars characters in alphabetical order!”

“I’ve had the world’s biggest crush on you since that day.”

_ Oh.  _

Jensen, heart beating frantically in his chest, stuttered out “U-Um Wh-Why, how come you never said anything?”

Jared shrugged. “Same reason you never did. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship.”

For most of his life, Jensen had been head over heels in unrequited love with Jared. The concept of Jared possibly loving him back was completely foreign to him, and he honestly had no idea what to think. 

For the next couple hours they sat and reminisced about everything in their fifteen years of friendship, getting steadily drunker as time went on. As it got darker they lit candles for light and sat side by side on the floor of the living area, sipping on scotch. The warmth of the scotch in his belly and Jared’s body pressed against his side made his heart sing.

He was hopelessly in love with this man.

Jared’s phone vibrated. He glanced at it. “Genevieve wants to discuss whether we should just postpone the wedding.”

Like someone tied a brick to his heart and threw it in the ocean, Jensen’s heart sank. “Oh, I guess… you should talk to her then, huh?” He hated himself as soon as the words left his mouth.

Jared frowned. “I don’t know…. But,” Jared leaned in closer, until the entire lengths of their bodies were pressed against each other. Jensen could smell scotch and cinnamon on Jared’s breath. “Did you mean it when you said you weren’t in love with me anymore? Because I- Jensen, I’m so in love with you that it  _ hurts  _ sometimes. In all these years that hasn’t changed and I- I want to be with you. Do you want to… be with me?”

Jensen wanted to say  _ yes, a million times yes!  _ Or  _ it’s the only thing I’ve wanted since the day I met you  _ or just lean a little bit closer and kiss Jared senseless. But he didn’t. Because he was a fucking coward. So he didn’t say or do any of those things.

He didn’t say anything at all.

Jared waited for his response, but when it didn’t come, his expression grew closed off. He stood up. “Okay, I guess I’ll go talk to Genevieve.”

He left.

And Jensen didn’t do a damn thing about it. 

Lightning illuminated the room. Jared’s glass sat on the floor, with the stupid cinnamon gum he loved to chew stuck on the rim. He’d have to clean it up, it would be rude not to. Jensen had tried the gum once; it was nasty but Jared  _ loved  _ it. 

Did he really want to spend the rest of his life not dealing with Jared’s stupid cinnamon gum? Did he really want to stand idly by when what he wanted for so long was just within reach? Did he really want to stay silent, like a coward, for the rest of his life?

He ran out into the freezing rain as fast as his legs could carry him. 

“Jared!” Jensen shouted over the rain.

Jared turned around. He was almost to the building where Genevieve was at. “Jensen?! What are you doing? Go back inside!”

“I love you Jared! I’ve been hopelessly in love with you since the day I met you, and I want to be with you. I want you to be with me. I want to look into your beautiful eyes that can’t decide what color they are every morning. I don’t think Genevieve is right for you, she doesn’t even like Star Wars! Come on! Look, I just… really love you.”

“I love you too,” Jared shouted, and thunder boomed in the distance and Jared’s lips were on Jensen’s and the thunder sounded like the sweetest music.

Eventually, they parted, but not for long as Jared put his forehead to Jensen’s. “I’m so glad you said something. Let me get out of this monkey suit and I’ll meet you at the back door.”

* * *

_"There's a silence, there's my last chance_   
_I stand up with shaking hands_   
_All eyes on me_   
_Horrified looks from everyone in the room_   
_But I'm only lookin' at you_

_I am not the kind of girl_   
_Who should be rudely bargin' in on a white veil occasion_   
_But you are not the kind of boy,_   
_Who should be marryin' the wrong girl_

_So don't say yes, run away now_   
_I'll meet you when you're out_   
_Of the church at the back door_   
_Don't wait or say a single vow_   
_You need to hear me out_   
_And they said, "speak now"_

_And you say, "let's run away now_   
_I'll meet you when I'm out of my tux at the back door_   
_Oh baby, I didn't say my vow_   
_So glad you were around when they said, "speak now"_

_-Speak Now by Taylor Swift_

**Author's Note:**

> please let me know what you think, any comments are super appreciated and loved! I love y'all!


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